The Best Plan

Sometimes I don't understand God's plans. But I do believe God is always with me and has better, even greatest plans. Because God can see the whole trip while we can only see a little way down the road.

Keep the faith, keep fighting, and give your best effort. Lets God do the rest.

#justmythought

Being Alone or Being Lonely?

I try my best to be a good person. I am not the perfect one and never will be.  I realize I am a moody person, specially in the morning, who definitely not a good company at my bad mood. BUT I always try to be a good person for my persons when I know that they need me.

Yeah I know I can't put my expectation too high and I know I can't expect anything from anyone, especially You, one of my persons. BUT it is really hurt when I realize that my existence is meaningless and still made You feel alone.

Dear You, I think I'll 'hibernate' for a while to give You space to re-thinking about who am I to You. And to give my self a time to calming down the heat in my brain and to wipe these unfriendly tears.

#edisiPMS?

Solitude

"Ada saatnya dalam hidupmu, engkau ingin sendiri saja bersama angin, menceritakan seluruh rahasia, lalu meneteskan air mata" - Bung Karno, 1933

Saya membaca quote ini kemarin saat si quote ini menjadi profil picture salah seorang teman saya.  Hal yang menarik dari quote ini bukanlah sang penulisnya yang merupakan tokoh dan bapak dari bangsa ini, tetapi lebih ke isinya. Bagi saya, isi quote ini sangat 'dalam'.  Menyentuh.

Tiba-tiba saya ingat dan kangen suatu masa disaat saya bisa seperti isi quote itu.  Menyendiri, menikmati pemandangan, bersama angin.  Tinggal di Jakarta yang crowded membuat saya susah dan bahkan tidak lagi bisa melakukan apa yang ada di quote itu.  

Dulu saat saya masih tinggal di Ujung Pandang, sekarang Makassar, saya punya pantai Tanjung Bunga. Pantai ini letaknya sangat dekat dengan rumah saya, yah palingan hanya 20 menitan dengan berjalan kaki. Dulu pantai ini masih belum dilirik oleh para pengembang properti dan belum terlalu ramai.  Hanya dikunjungi oleh penduduk setempat.

Setelah kuliah di Bogor, tepatnya di daerah Dramaga, sebuah saung di sawah dekat kost adalah tempat favorite saya untuk menyendiri.  

Sebenarnya waktu pertama kali tinggal di Jakarta, di kantor pertama saya, saya menemukan tempat yang cocok untuk menyendiri.  Rooftop.  Kantor saya menempati sebuah gedung 8 lantai di kawasan Cikini, dan saya berkantor dilantai 6.  Dengan naik 2 lantai melalui tangga darurat, saya bisa masuk ke area rooftop, yang entah mengapa tidak pernah dikunci, dan yang suka ke area itu cuma saya tampaknya (saya tidak pernah bertemu dengan siapa-siapa soalnya).  Tidak ada pemandangan seindah pantai Tanjung Bunga dan sawah disini, hanya gedung, kali dan rel kereta api, tapi saya tetap suka menyendiri disini.

Tentang menyendiri.  

Hmm pada dasarnya memang saya bukan orang yang suka keramaian, tetapi saya bukan tipe penyendiri. Saya suka kok ke Mall, hang out dengan teman-teman di tempat-tempat asyik.  Tetapi memang ada saatnya saya ingin dan butuh sendiri.

Pernah ngga kamu merasa terlalu lelah untuk berbasa-basi?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa terlalu lelah untuk bicara?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa terlalu lelah menghadapi dunia?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa terlalu lelah dengan sisi baikmu?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa kamu hanya ingin menjadi diri sendiri dan 'bebas' dari penilaian orang lain?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa bahwa susah untuk mengungkapkan kepada orang lain apa yang kamu rasakan?

Pernah ngga kamu merasa bahwa tak ada orang lain yang benar - benar mengerti apa yang kamu rasakan saat itu?

Nah disaat-saat seperti itulah saya menyendiri.  Menikmati me-time.  Menikmati saat saya bisa mengeluarkan emosi saya.  Menikmati saat air mata bisa bebas keluar dan membiarkan angin membawanya pergi.  Dan setelah itu saya akan merasa lega.

Aaaah betapa saya kangen bisa seperti itu lagi di alam terbuka.

Serendipity

"Serendipity is a fortunate accident.
I don't really believe in accidents.
I think fate's behind everything.
Everything's predestined?
I think we make our own decisions.
I just think that fate sends us little signs.
And it's how we read the signs that determines whether we're happy or not."

That lines I quote from dialog in a movie 'Serendipity'.  Same like Sara, a main actress in this movie, I don't believe in accidents.  I believe there is fate behind every accidents happen to me.

I never knew on the first time I met you that someday you will ( already happen thought) intervene my mind. I can direct my heart when it suddenly response to and choose you. I believe you came to my life for a reason and the reason is you came to coloring my monotonous life.

But, like the lines above, lately, fate send me a few little signs that guide us to nothings but bestie.

Just like tonight. I really thinking of you, and ta daaa you come up with that status. When I want to really see you but was too proud to ask, fate directed me to a different place to where you are. At first, I really want to go to that place. Aaahhh is it a little sign that fate send to me?

@Starbucks Grand Indonesia, October 6th, 2013
#latepost

First piece of puzzle

Yup on this date, 2 years ago, I've got my first puzzle from you. Since that day, my life was never the same again.

Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you to put your trust on me.
Thank you to teach me those feelings again.
Thank you to coloring my life.

Kado (2)

Menerima kado adalah salah satu moment yang menyenangkan untuk saya. Moment lainnya yang menyenangkan buat saya adalah mencari, memilih dan memberi kado.  Karena saya tahu bagaimana senangnya menerima kado, makanya saat saya juga suka memberi kado untuk orang-orang kesayangan saya.

Kegiatan mencari dan memilih kado itu sangat menyenangkan karena saya suka segala sesuatu yang sifatnya personal. Sebisa mungkin kado yang saya akan berikan adalah:
1. Wishlist dari yang bersangkutan
2. Kalau saya tidak tahu wishlist-nya, maka saya akan cari sesuatu yang identik dengan yamg bersangkutan. Entah itu terkait hobby-nya, warna kesukaannya, tokoh kesukaannya etc.

Agak ribet sih,  tapi itu setimpal banget dengan perasaan saya saat si penerima kado antusias dan senang banget dengan kado dari saya. Euforia seperti itu akan menular kepada saya dan saya suka dengan rasa itu :).

Kado (1)

Salah satu moment yang paling menyenangkan buat saya adalah saat menerima sebuah kado, membukanya dan akhirnya mengetahui isinya. Terlebih lagi saat saya tahu tidak ada moment khusus yang membuat saya 'layak' menerima kado, seperti disuatu pagi di minggu lalu.  Ketika saya sampai di meja kantor saya, saya melihat ada bungkusan tergeletak di atas meja saya.

Bungkusannya biasa saja, lapisan paling luar adalah plastik pembungkus biasa dari agen kurir, kemudian ada bungkus coklat yang membungkus kardus coklat. Pengirimnya adalah salah seorang sahabat saya, saya suka panggil dia Mami, belakangan dia saya panggil dia Mami Peri karena dia memamggil saya peri cinta (Karena saya suka sekali lagu Peri Cinta-nya Marcell).  Hmm saya ngga bisa duga isinya apa.  Sang sahabat saya ini memang pernah menjanjikan sesuatu tapi ukurannya ga sebesar ini dan katanya akan dititipkan teman yang cukup sering ketemu saya. Makin penasaran.

Kardus coklatpun sudah saya buka dan masih bertemu dengan bubble plastik.  Oooouuccch benda fragile apakah yg dikirimkan. Dan setelah saya buka ternyataaaa adalah 4 botol kaca kecil berbentuk beruang. So kawaaaaaiiiiii (>o<) ♥♥♥.

Sahabat-sahabat saya tahu kalau saya ini adalah kolektor pasir dan suka kebingungan mencari tempat untuk menyimpan jika ada pasir-pasir baru. Jadi botol-botol kaca ini akan saya gunakan untuk koleksi pasir yang istimewa.

Terima kasih Mami Peri-ku....

About Feeling

Sometimes you just can't tell someone how you feel. Not because you don't trust them, nor because you are afraid. But because you can't  find the right words to describe your feeling, to make them understand. And it make you frustated. People's mind are complex and take things in so many different ways.

Sometimes its good for you to keep your feeling secretly, if you think they can hear you but they can't understand what you said.

But sometimes you have to tell it, not just to make you feel relieved, also because that someone deserve to know the truth. If what you're trying to say is meant to be said. It will find a way to be.

Now, my dear you, I am on a mission to find the right words and the right timing to tell you how I feel bout you. I hope when the words are found and the time is right, you'll be understand why I act and react like I do now.

@indianamind
17/02/2014

You (Part 4)

Wahai Penguasa hati | Tempat seluruh pengharapan akan kembali ... #indianamind (March 1st, 2013)

Kamu adalah Matahari | Sinarmu yang membuat aku, Rembulan, bercahaya #indianamind (March 1st, 2013)

Before I sleep, all I wanna do is hear your voice | Aaahh Good nite my Kryptonite #indianamind (March 1st, 2013)

I know | I just can't help it, though...*sigh*.... #indianamind (March 2nd, 2013)

Happiness is simple | Grateful to having a quality time with You | Really recharge my energy to face another rush week | thank you #indianamind (March 3rd, 2013)

Aaaargggh you really know how to push my ego up .... #indianamind (March 3rd, 2013)

The point is we can't help who we fall in love with #moviequote #indianamind (March 3rd, 2013)

Like a cat | You will play with everyone who response your miauw... *sigh* #indianamind (March 3rd, 2013)

"Can I tell You something? You're the only reason I did" - 10 Years #indianamind #moviequote (March 12th, 2013)

Ima wa mada kanashii love song.. Atarashii uta utaeru made #song #indianamind (March 13th, 2013)

Ah kamu selalu sukses membuatku meleleh .. #indianamind (March 13th, 2013)

Today, I keep myself busy 'till so tired, but in between, every time I pause, I think of you *whew* #indianamind (March 17th, 2013)

Through the good & the bad times... You're the best I never had .. #moviequote #indianamind (March 21st, 2013)

Someone said "Don't make a promises you can't keep" | Me said "Yeah, but those are the best kind" ... *whew* #indianamind (March 23rd, 2013)

You are my sunshine | My only sunshine | You make me happy | When skies are gray | You'll never know dear | How much I love you | Please | Don't take your sunshine away ... :' #moviequote #indianamind (March 23rd, 2013)

"untuk apa mempertahankan yg sudah tidak layak dipertahankan " by @GlennFredly ...yup agree.. Cukup sudah #song #indianamind (March 28th, 2013)

Aaaarrrghhh… hate You  #indianamind (March 28th, 2013)

Aaaah so sweet to pick me up *batal ngambeg* #indianamind (March 28th, 2013)

Yeeeeaaay ada tebengan #indianamind (March 28th, 2013)

Today, I keep myself busy, put my blackberry away from me, try not to contact You | But, still, when I stop my activities, my mind will fly to You | Miss You  #indianamind (March 30th, 2013)

Though I am Sherlock Holmes | You are the most complex case that I might not be able to solve it #shinichikudo #indianamind (March 30th, 2013)

Raise my white flag… and surrender …*whew*..…#song #indianamind (March 31st, 2013)Yeah You bleed just to know you’re alive …#song #indianamind (April 1st, 2013)

How do you find the word to say.. This is just Goodbye ;-) … #song #indianamind (April 1st, 2013)

Aku kangen kamu . ngga kangen , atau ? #indianamind (April 7th, 2013)

You just pop up in my mind | Suddenly I feel all oxygen around me disappear | Made me hard to breathe | Kryptonite, I miss you #indianamind (April 11th, 2013)

Terdiam mendengar kisahmu | Hanya bisa menggenggam tanganmu dan menguatkanmu #indianamind #firstpuzzle #180312 #somerset (April 12th, 2013)

We like the X, Y, and Z in #euler diagram | IF ( " No Y's are Z's" and "All X's are Y's") THEN (No X's are Z's") #indianamind (April 15th, 2013)

Playing sudoku while waiting you finished your work.. #indianamind (April 21st , 2013)

Like reading a book | Next page of you always surprised me | Made me more curious | Kryptonite, I ain't finish with you yet #indianamind (April 23rd, 2013)

Hello my supermassive black hole. How r u? #song #indianamind (May 12th, 2013)

Hey rollercoaster | You soar my feeling high then slammed it down | Luckily I don’t get heart attack or slowly I became heartless #indianamind (May 16th, 2013)

You (Part 3)

Good Day my Kryptonite... I'm wearing smile that you give me... #indianamind (January 3rd, 2013)

You were born because you are going to be important to someone #morningmantra #indianamind 
(January 4th, 2013)

Wish that I could cry… Fall upon my knees…#song #indianamind (January 4th, 2013)

I feel my wings have broken in your hands …#song #indianamind (January 4th, 2013)

Hey Kryptonite..please be kind to me.. Don't give me pain for tonite.. #indianamind (January 5th, 2013)

Some search, never finding a way … #song #indianamind (January 6th, 2013)

All those fairy tales are full of shit… One more fucking love song… I’ll be sick #song #indianamind 
(January 6th, 2013)

You will always be inside my heart  Itsumo anata dake... #song #indianamind (January 6th, 2013)

You asks "who's destroy your mind?" and I really wanna answer "YOU!!!"...aaaarrrrgggh .. #indianamind 
(January 8th, 2013)

Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you…#moviequote #indianamind (January 8th, 2013)

Dear my sunshine, miss you badly... :'(…#indianamind (January 9th, 2013)

I can't stop lovin' you. No matter what I say or do. You know my heart is true. I can't stop lovin' you 
#song #indianamind (January 12th, 2013)

kembali ke hitam n hijau, warna, setelah menjelajahi merah muda, abu-abu n biru juga :-) #indianamind 
(January 12th, 2013)

Right now, You will be the answer when somebody asks me what ruin my mind....*whew* #indianamind 
(January 12th, 2013)

hey Dee,what are you doing? | i'm breaking my own heart | wow, that's quite interesting activity | yes, thank you 
#friendquote #indianamind (January 13th, 2013)

Love is funny. Makes you happy, sad and do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. #moviequote 
#indianamind (January 19th, 2013)

To forget easily is a gift. Let go of your past mistakes. Make a fresh start ..#moviequote #indianamind 
(January 19th, 2013)

Suddenly thinking of my kryptonite...Hey, how are you? #indianamind (January 20th, 2013)

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before the right one, so when we finally meet that person, 
we will know how to be grateful.. #indianamind (January 20th, 2013)

To the world, you may be someone; but to someone, you might be the world.... Morning n cheer up :-).. 
#indianamind (January 21st, 2013)

Jangan pernah membiarkan kecintaanmu kpd makhluk ciptaanNya membutakanmu, apalagi melebihi 
kecintaanmu kepadaNya #pembelajaran #indianamind (January 25th, 2013)

You like an Onion | I need a lot of patience, sometimes, tears to get the real You #indianamind (January 27th, 2013

Kamu adalah lubang hitam | gravitasimu begitu kuat membuatku terus mendekat | hingga batas horizon | dan kemudian kamu membuatku menghilang dan akhirnya pecah berkeping-keping #blackholetheory #indianamind  (Februari 4th, 2013)

I came into your life not to make you love me, but to let you feel that you're so much worth to loving for..nite kryptonite #indianamind (Februari 6th, 2013)

One day you'll ask me which is more important, ur life or mine? I'll say mine.. You’ll walk away not knowing that You're my life #indianamind (Februari 7th, 2013)

Right now, You will be the answer when somebody asks me what ruin my mind... #indianamind (Februari 7th, 2013)

Like a kryptonite... You make me powerless... #indianamind (Februari 7th, 2013)

Somehow, for me, you are both the best and worst thing that has ever happened in my life... Nite kryptonite #indianamind (Februari 9th, 2013)

Diam-diam sayang sama teman sendiri? nggak apa-apa. lebih mulia dari diam-diam benci sama teman sendiri #IkaNatassa #indianamind (Februari 9th, 2013)

Do you realize that we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way? #indianamind (Februari 10th, 2013)

I know, It's a fight that I can't win | There's nothing i can do | So I'm giving up tonight | Nite Kryptonite #indianamind (Februari 10th, 2013)

You like a pendulum | Swing my feeling and my life | But I promise to myself | You won't hypnotized me #indianamind (Februari 14th, 2013)

If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me | And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be #indianamind #song (Februari 15th, 2013)

Naturally, You pull me out from my pattern | So others will be surprise because they can see the real me #indianamind (Februari 16th, 2013)

You & me like the earth & the planet | The apparent retrograde & direct motion of the planet arise not from its motion but from the earth' #heliocentric #theory #indianamind (Februari 19th, 2013)

Maybe some secrets should just stay secret... #movie #indianamind (Februari 20th, 2013)

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to the things you know and hello to the things you don't #movie #indianamind (February 20th ,2013)

Macam emak2 yg mengkhawatirkan anaknya…hiks khawatir sangat .. #indianamind (February 21st,2013)

If you are hurricane | I choose to be drizzle ... #indianamind (February 23th,2013)

Meleburkan semua batas …# song #indianamind (February 23th,2013)

:’(.. sad for you …gws ..#indianamind (February 24th,2013)

Looking at to the full moon.. are you looking  the same too? Hmm don’t think so …(February 25th,2013)

And the universe conspired to thwart my plan.. It's a sign? :'( .. #indianamind (February 26th,2013)

Like a puzzle | I need to assemble piece by piece to see the real you #indianamind (February 26th,2013)

It’s OK to follow your heart... But please take your brain with you #indianamind (February27th, 2013)